To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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