if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
