Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
