margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
