My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
