Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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