is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
