Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
