She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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