I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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