If i come over, it means nothing
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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