idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
