Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
