May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize