so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
