I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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