so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
