Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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