is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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