so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
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Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
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Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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