I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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