I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
