i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
