trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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