they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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