do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
