I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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