after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
