one two three fourrrrnication!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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