the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
