he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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