I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
