We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
