and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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