i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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