she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
