She is in my trunk
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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