so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
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We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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