READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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