i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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