Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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