I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
