i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
