My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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