How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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