Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
