Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
