you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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