i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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