Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize