He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
sex in a hospital.. check
Never let your siblings swipe right.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
