i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
