My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize