She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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