he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
is it fun? or sober?
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