If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
